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| Turns out, im the black swan! |
Ok so, I just got done watching "BLACK SWAN" I cant actually be arsed to make a real review because it is one in the morning so ill just reduce it to bullet points. Spoilers incoming(?):
-Who would of guessed swan lake was really the story of a young psychotic ballerina girl who cant get laid and so, learns how to masturbate.
- David lynch, nuff said.
- I dont really like mila kunis.
- Goddamnit meg!
- I dont really like natalie portman(???)
- That dude who plays the ballet instructor was in this movie called "The messenger" about joan of ark. Ive seen that movie a million times and couldnt get it out of my head. Thanks TCM!
- This movie had far too many women in it, no homo.
- Im not going to be able to cut my fingernails for like a month, thanks a lot darren aronofsky.
- I like wynona ryder.
- I dont like the music from swan lake. Im just going to go ahead and say I categorically do not like "ballet" music (take that nineteenth century!)
- The set dressing seemed kind of forced. Everything was black and white. Yeah I get it, white swan/black swan. Its in the title of the film, you dont need to beat me over the head with it.
- She was the black swan all along. The white swan was what she could not become. Eventually she casts off the false identity via suicide and, hey presto, black swan.
- Too many bitches, not enough ballets.
- Too much drama, not enough absurdity. No im not going to qualify that.
- Anorexia is pretty gross
- I guess it was a pretty alright movie.
- Jump cuts should be banned.
- What happened to wynona ryder? She never does anything anymore.
- It just feels like, natalie portman was a really great child actor but never matured. Its like she is on autopilot.
- I just cant look at her without thinking "I am looking at natalie portman" maybe thats my fault.
- I mean like, contrast her with naomi watts in mulholland drive.
- Natalie portman plays natalie portman in a movie about natalie portman starring natalie portman. Alright ill quit.
- I love ballet.
- Anorexia can be pretty hot.
- Seriously, the fucking fingernail shit. Worse than /b/.
- I just cant quantify it but I didnt really love this movie. It hits all the right notes but just falls flat and that is funny because that, in part, is what the movie was about. In fact id make that same statement about every darren aronofsky movie ever and every natalie portman ever.
- Natalie Portman, there I said it.
- Expressionism is strangely underused in popular films. It seems to me a perfect fit for the medium.
- If there is one genre of film that I think most accurately depicts reality, it would be, black comedy, or psychological horror.
- So many girls in the theater I saw it in. Did they think this was going to be a girl movie? Is this a girl movie? Is there a market for psychological horror films directed at women no one has yet tapped into?
- Tina fey? What are you doing here? Why yes have a seat!
- Wait, this is the aesthetic isnt it? This is the teen girl angst thing. You are right, totally a teen girl angst flick.
- Total boner killer with mom in the bedroom while you masturbate.
- In fact this entire film was a boner killer. Getting this much sex and this much nervousness all in one go is just, well, difficult.
- I guess this was a girl movie after all.
- Perfect blue, see it.
- I sometimes scratch myself in my sleep and wake up with strange cuts. I know! Gross, huh!
- No! Im the black swan!
- P.S. natalie portman, please dont kill yourself.
- FIN
